Love in the time of Covid Series – 1

Yesterday, they had to take my mom to hospital. Dad called me and said calmly, “your mother needs healing”. He rarely calls. Putting a brave face, I said ok and sat down to align myself to just start with sending pure unconditional love to my mom. My plan was to heal myself first to see why I attracted this (both my parents were sick and had symptoms last week and thankfully they recovered) and then to heal her.

I couldn’t do anything. I just kept crying for a while and then I messaged my friend to heal me – concern being that my mother should get the right treatment and whatever is the highest best for her should happen. This friend healed me and others chanted mantras for my mother.

Meanwhile, I was numb. Shocked and angry. Angry on myself for not able to simply ask Creator to bring my mother home in good health. I was only telling myself – “whatever is the highest best should happen to her ‘smoothly’”. I wanted something from the situation- a smooth sail. I was scared that she might turn into a vegetable.

I worked on my fears later. But for the whole day, I lived the fear. It felt right. I “lived my deepest fear and saw how I transformed”.

As for my mother, she came back home from OPD and recovering at home.

I am not sure why I felt like sharing this. We all are loosing families everyday. The pain conscious (if there is any) is in tough completion with the fear consciousness. Some of us are chatting with family and friends on one side, wiping tears and taking client calls on the other side. Others are quietly sobbing and taking care of household chores and kids. We are all disturbed and I guess the first step is to accept it. This is ‘Now’ – the current moment. The ultimate reality and duality of life and death is here. And each one of us is the oneness of this duality.