Book summary – Feel the fear and do it anyway – Susan Jeffers
Chapter 1: What are you afraid of and why?
This chapter defines the various levels of fears.
Level 1 fears – Those that happen (Covid) and those requiring action (weight loss)
Level 2 fears – Inner state of mind (rejection)
Level 3 fears – I can’t handle it
At the bottom of every one of your fears is simply the fear that you can’t handle whatever life may bring you.
If you knew you can handle everything that came your way, what would you possibly have to fear.
All you have to do to diminish your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way
Remember – “whatever happens to me, given my situation, I can handle it!”
Chapter 2: Can’t you make it go away?
Five truths to remember and practice :
Truth 1- The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
Truth 2 – The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.
Truth 3 – The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it.
Truth 4 – Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I am on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
Truth 5 – Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.
Chapter 3 – From Pain to Power
If everybody feels fear when approaching something totally new on life, yet so many are out there ‘doing it’ despite the fear, then we must conclude that ‘Fear is not the problem’.
Remember you just need to expand your comfort zone.
Chapter 4 – Weather you want it or not… it’s yours
Take responsibility of your life. Stop playing the victim.
The Truth is that you really are in control – in total control.
Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having, or feeling.
Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself. Taking responsibility means being aware of where and when you are NOT taking responsibility so that you can eventually change.
Taking responsibility means handling the chatterbox (the little non stop voice inside that drives you crazy).
Taking responsibility means being aware of the payoffs that keep you ‘stuck’.
Taking responsibility means figuring out what you what in life and acting on it.
Taking responsibility means being aware of the multitude of choices you have in any given situation.
Seven ways to reclaim your power:
- Avoid casting blame on an external force for your bad feelings about life. Nothing outside you can control your thinking or your actions.
- Avoid blaming yourself for not being in control.
- Be aware of when and where you play the victim role.
- Familiar yourself with your biggest enemy- your chatterbox. Convert it lovingly into an internal friend.
- Figure out the payoffs that keep you ‘stuck’ in your situation.
- Determine what you want in life and act on it. Don’t wait anyone else to give it to you.
- Be aware of the many choices you have – in both actions and feeling.
Chapter 5 – Pollyanna rides again
Why being miserable when you can be happy. Remember that we create our own reality. State affirmations in the present- I am now handling my fears.
Chapter 6 – When “they” don’t want you to grow
- It is amazingly empowering to have the support of a strong, motivated and inspirational group of people. Be aware of your surrounding – Awareness is the key.
- Reach out to people you admire.
- Believe that your mate wants what’s best for you and that he/she will intimately love the positive change in you. Stick to your goodness.
- Pendulum Syndrome – Be aware of the pendulum syndrome.
- Have win-win conversations rather that lose-lose
The less you need someone’s approval, the more you are able to love them… which translates to …the less you control someone, the more they are able to love you.
Chapter 7- How to make a No-Lose decision
All you have to do to change your world is change the way you think about it.
Understand the Choice points in life- choose any path, all the paths are right. Each path has opportunities – despite the outcome.
The knowledge that you can handle anything that comes your way is the key to allowing yourself to take healthy, life-affirming risks.
Before making a decision-
1. Focus immediately on a No-Lose model
2. Do your homework
3. Establish your priorities
4. Most importantly, trust your impulses.
5. Lighten up.
After making a decision:
- Throw away your picture of your expectations of the outcomes.
- Accept total responsibility of your decisions.
- Don’t protect, correct- if it didn’t work, change it.
Learn the concept of:
“It doesn’t really matter.”
“So what! I will handle it!”
Chapter 8 – how whole is your whole life
Work on your commitment - 100% and Act as if you really counted.
Chapter 9 – Just nod your head – Say Yes
Say yes to your universe- In saying ‘yes’ lies the antidote of our fears.
Acknowledgment of pain is very important; denial is deadly.
- Create awareness that you are saying no. Awareness is the first step.
- Stay conscious of your choice.
- Once consciousness is there, actually/literally nod from head up and down and say ‘yes’.
- Be patient with yourself. It takes time to adopt a ‘yes’ approach in life. Say ‘yes’ to you.
- Go with the flow. Don’t push the river.
Chapter 10- Choosing Love and Trust
Thank your mate and family for things they do. Make a list of things they DO.
If all your ‘giving’ is about ‘getting’, think how fearful you will become.
Genuine giving is not only altruistic, it also makes us feel better.
When we give from a place of love, rather than from a place of expectation, more usually comes back to us than we could have ever imagined.
Give away:
- Thanks
- Information
- Praise
- Time
- Money
- Love – to love is to be able to give.
Learn this mantra- I release my fear of lack and accept the abundance and prosperity of the universe.
Chapter 11- Filling the inner void
Connect with your higher self.
Believe in the laws of Universal energy.
Trust your intuitions.
Learn to read the signals from the universe.
Every single thought is important.
Believe in coincidences.
If we do not consciously and consistently focus on the spiritual part of ourselves, we will never experience the kind of joy, satisfaction, safety, and connectedness we all are seeking.
Why choose to be right instead of happy when there is no way to be right?
Make a “Whole life chart like a 3x3 matrix with all the important aspects of your life and map it your Higher self”.
Chapter 12- There is plenty of time
To becomes involved is to reduce our fear. Face it!
Forgive everyone including yourself.
